'You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams" -Dr. Seuss-



That so true.... I've been having this feeling and I bilieve this is real... this is serious.... I am deffinitely in love with a guy......



all my life i do like a few guys bt my mind had been telling lies on me, but this time my heart is telling the truth. my heart pound a lot when he's around, feel so happy whenever he smile, he truly is a kind person and i have no idea what am i saying right now!!!



Though I have my answer of love I had a bad dream last night... so bad that when i woke up, i cried and my heart was really painful... like heartbroken feeling, spreading all over my chest



My nightmare:

I finally got an offer from Cartoon Network, I was so happy that time... even my family and friends.... and my dream came true! Greg Cipes came to pick me up at the KLIA... eeeekkkk!!!!

I already said goodbye to my family at Sabah and I have to say goodbye to my friends, they all came to KLIA just to say goodbye to me and they all are very sad to see me leave....

One by one, i gave small gifts to them to remember me when im gone. Then it's his turn, i said something that i will never forget! I say:

"Daniel, I just want to say im sorry that i ever had feelings for you. I cant help it, Im in love with you very much. Because of who you are, my heart fell for you." I suddenly broke to tears, Cipes was watching but I dont give a damn! I hug him tightly,but he didnt hug me back nor say anything, he was really shock, then my heart tell me to kiss him but I can't... not too fast.... I gave him my gray siamese kitten doll to him, Bobby. Than I walk away to the gate to get on the flight, as I enter the gate I turn back for awhile and wave goodbye to all of my true friends.

I even look at him until I cant even see him anymore, my chest felt a sharp pain and its slowly spreading all over my chest... this is deffinitely the feeling of broken heart.....



With the tears rolled down from my eyes, my mind was really messed up that i cant think straight. In the plane Cipes comfort me, i didnt cry but only tears came out.... i think that's consider crying also.... dunno..... luckily i was holding a sketchbook i always carrying around with, so i drew a lot of things.

Then, it happens..... a news just came in on TV.... KLIA was robbed by a very scary terrorist and hold everyone in the airport hostage... I saw my friends on TV... they're all been hold hostages.... I can see everyone already got hurt.

Suddenly, the terrorists.... oh how I hate them all..... if I knew were they, I would already slit their throats..... the terrorists shot all my friends.... all of them!! Ili, Ash, Rara, Yatt Weng, Sam, Kenvin, Kevin, Gavin, Rob, Bryan and even.... Daniel..... They all died!!

I woke up after that, crying and feeling very scared... tears rolled down from my eyes... a lot, i was crying alone in little my sister's room..... i pray to Allah s.a.w that my nightmare will naver come true

The next morning:
I was listening to "Dream" by Mocca

In the middle of the night,
The dream wakes me up

It is not very good dream maybe its my nightmare

When I started my day,
It still stuck on my mind.

And the thing ruined my day make mt head spin around.

*chorus*
But why should I bilieve my dream will come true,
And I dont have any reason to bilieve that all of my dreams will come true

and it go on.... theres more but I'm too tired to type it all down... hehe

when I listen to this song... i bilieve it will never happen, but if it does happen, I'll be ready.....